Fellas, hold your lady a little tighter tonight. If you scored tickets to The 1975 at night three of Twisted XMas this year, your girl could soon belong to Matty Healy (which is better than belonging to the streets, we think).
Just remember, you could try as hard as you want, but you’ll never be charming like Matty. Never.
Move over Mrs. Butterworth, capitalism has given us a new character to lust over. Millions tuned into the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade for family-friendly entertainment, but were instead greeted by a smut film thanks to the pulsating biceps and thicc calves from Smokey Bear’s balloon.
Which fictional character are you crushing on? The conversation lives on Facebook!
Just remember, you could always be dumber. A Florida woman is taking legal action against the proprietors of those glorious cheese shells because she feels like the instructions printed alongside the mac & cheese don’t live up to their end of the deal. Amanda Ramirez claims the statement on the bottom left-hand corner of the box that notes the product is “ready in 3½ minutes” is false and misleading because the product takes longer. The directions on the back of the package detail four steps in preparing the macaroni and cheese, and the lawsuit says that one of the steps, microwaving the food, takes 3 1/2 minutes.
Per KIRO 7, “She accuses the company of violating state and federal laws against deceptive and unfair trade practices, fraud, false and misleading advertising, breach of express warranty, negligent misrepresentation and unjust enrichment, according to the newspaper.”
Now let’s all take a moment of silence and think of the lawyer that spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in law school and now has to defend mac & cheese instructions in a court of law.
Chevy Chase will reprise one of his most beloved characters this week in the Chicagoland area.
The actor will appear as Clark Griswold at a Raising Cane’s restaurant in Morton Grove to fire up more than 13,000 Christmas lights, in a nod to a scene from the 1989 classic National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.
The event happens this Tuesday [11.29.22] at 5PM — Patch has got you covered on the rest of the particulars.
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Writing essays for school has gotten much easier… you don’t have to write at all anymore. A new website generates entire articles for you just after entering a few key words.
Would you have used this in school or nah too scared to get caught? Answer on our Facebook!
The Strokes, Interpol, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, LCD Soundsystem were all part of the early-aughts sound and NYC scene and new chapter in the History Of Alternative. Watch the trailer here:
Meet Me in the Bathroom premieres on Showtime beginning (today) November 25th.
The Reno sheriff’s department gets together for a holiday investigation featuring a visit from a special roller skating “Christmas Angel” who shows what life would be like without Lt. Dangle!
Reno 911!: It’s a Wonderful Heist arrives at Comedy Central on December 3rd.
30 years ago today in 1992, Adam Sandler premiered “The Thanksgiving Song” on Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update.
“Turkey lurkey doo and Turkey lurkey dap, I eat that turkey then I take a nap..”
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A man who looks like he’d be really into energy drinks and leaving hateful comments towards women on the Internet is finding out that downing a dozen energy drinks in mere minutes is very bad for your body. The Pokemon-enthusiast hit the Red Bull hard, then followed up the onslaught of energy drinks with a shot of liquor, which caused him to vomit. It was at this moment that he knew he f*cked up.
His pancreas began to “digest itself”, which is the single scariest thing I could possibly imagine. Somehow, it was only after this that he had a “wake-up call” for his lifestyle. The fluid build-up became infected, according to Dr. Bernard Hsu, and his liver and kidneys started to shut down. Doctors treated the unnamed gamer, who reportedly vomited on a nurse’s shoes, with IV fluids and antibiotics before releasing him, Hsu said.
It has been four years since Taylor Swift last since hit the road for a full-blown tour. In that time, Taylor Swift as an entity has taken on an entirely new meaning. She recorded “Taylor’s Version” songs, made her voice heard on the political front, and owned the charts in an unprecedented way with Folklore, Evermore, and now Midnights in the last couple of years.
Due to Taylor Swift, The Brand, being what it is, Ticketmaster received an unprecedented amount of traffic for her “Eras Tour”. More than two million tickets were sold during verified presale on Tuesday, with roughly 3.5 million signing up to get in on the action.
Taylor Swift will be playing Soldier Field from June 2-4 with Girl in Red, MUNA, and others.
Ticketmaster has no plan for how to unload the remaining Swift tickets, but when they are made available, they will go fast.
Denny’s wants to help Americans by selling a T-shirt that doubles as a year-long breakfast subscription. The Everyday Value Tee has a unique QR code sewn into the shirt that will act as a pass to get you free breakfast for 365 days. The meal includes two eggs and two bacon strips or sausage links, as well as a choice of two buttermilk pancakes, one slice of French toast, or a biscuit and gravy.
There will only be 150 shirts released, which launch at midnight (12 a.m. EST/9 p.m. PST) on Nov. 24 at DinerDrip.com. May the odds be in your favor.
You ever go to a Dick’s Sporting Goods and punch a punching bag just to get some energy out? This woman took that to the extreme. She works out at a local sporting goods store, doesn’t pay for anything, and then leaves.
Does this pass the vibe check? The conversation lives on Facebook!
The greatest city on Earth needs a new mayor. Lori Lightfoot is feeling the wrath of one of Chicago’s toughest communities: bikers. And by bikers, we mean cyclists. The two-wheel-brigade is coming down on Chicago’s mayor after she and her XL SUV’s took up the bike lane for 10 minutes while she nibbled on something sweet from Roeser’s.
“It is just egregious,” said Christina Whitehouse, founder of Bike Lane Uprising. “It wasn’t an emergency, and there are safe alternatives. But she went to park in the bike lanes where a safe parking place is available, showing that she would endanger the lives of Chicagoans for some doughnuts.”
I’m going to leave these here. These are real and they’re spectacular.
Would you want to fix these? The conversation lives on Facebook!
$1,000 is a fair gift, but paying for an entire wedding is one step too far for this Crew Member.
Is she a jerk for this? The conversation lives on Facebook!
An anonymous Crew Member checked in to see whether or not we delete old texts, specifically ones from a scorned lover.
Is this Streets behavior? The conversation lives on Facebook!
Do you know an absolute ghoul? Someone that is an absolute menace to society? A monster among men? Please reach out to them and let them know that Subway, the makers of the tastiest subs on Earth, are looking into putting their subs into vending machines. Imagine cracking into a meatbull sub in the late afternoon while it’s been sitting in a machine for days. YUM.
Does this pass your vibe check? The conversation lives on Facebook!
