An American institution turns 10

If you went to a gym, tanning bed, or laundry mat yesterday, you have Jersey Shore to thank. It is a known fact that these great inventions were founded a decade ago with the start of MTV’s runaway hit, Jersey Shore.

It’s easy to only look at Jersey Shore as a nostalgic relic of yesteryear, but there was a point in time when this show was drawing nearly ten million viewers on cable. It dominated culture in a way that every show dreams of doing, yet only a few actually do.

We’ll forever be DTF for Jersey Shore.

GROSSEST CHRISTMAS GIFT OF 2019

If you’ve ever wanted a chance to spread your stench at least 10 feet, you’re in luck this Christmas. The Fart Launcher 3000 has hit the market and is one of the best-selling gifts this holiday season. Marissa DiBartolo, editor-in-chief of Toy Insider, notes that “Potty humor is pretty much a guaranteed hit with kids.”

As we witness the decline of Western civilization before our very eyes, let it be known that according to multiple users “it actually does stink”. They’ve finally found a kid’s toy that actually works.

If you want to get your stinker this stinker of a gift, good luck finding it. These are currently sold out at Wal-Mart and are going fast at Target and on Amazon.

Football star speaks only in cringe worthy cliches

Russell Wilson is a man of many talents. He’d led the Seahawks to the Super Bowl, he’s been invited to Pro Bowls, and he’s been in the running for MVP in the past. On the field, he’s one of a kind. No one can do what Wilson does. He’s a unique individual who has made a career off of being unique. His verbiage, on the other hand, leaves a little to be desired.

We’re not sure why Wilson only speaks in these absurd cliches, but it’s the way he’s chosen to live his life. We just hope that he only speaks like this on the field. Phrases like “love you boys, let’s crack it open” and the copious amount of “ayyyyys”, “ohhhhhhs”, and “atta baby” might confuse normal civilians.

Even with these cliches being a part of his game, we’d still gladly trade Wilson for Mitch Trubisky and anyone else the Bears want to throw in. Can we make that happen?

Soul Asylum Text Contest

WKQX-FM’s “Soul Asylum Text” Contest
Official Rules

A complete copy of these rules can be obtained at the offices of radio station WKQX-FM (“Station”), owned and operated by Cumulus Media Holdings Inc. or one of its subsidiary companies, 455 N. CityFront Plaza Chicago, IL 60611, during normal business hours Monday through Friday or by sending a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the above address.

The Station will conduct the WKQX-FM “Soul Asylum Text” Contest (the “Contest”) substantially as described in these rules, and by participating, each participant agrees as follows:

 

  1. No purchase is necessary to enter or win. A purchase will not increase your chance of winning.   Void where prohibited.  All federal, state, and local regulations apply.
  2. This Contest is open only to legal U.S. residents, excluding Florida and New York residents, age eighteen (18) years or older at the time of entry with a valid Social Security number and who reside in the Station’s Designated Market Area (“DMA”) as defined by Nielsen Audio, who have not won a prize from the Station in the last 30 days or a prize valued at $500 or more in the last 60 days, and whose immediate family members or household members have not won a prize from the Station in the last 30 days or a prize valued at $500 or more in the last 60 daysVoid where prohibited by law.  Employees of Cumulus Media Holdings Inc., its parent company, affiliates, related entities and subsidiaries, promotional sponsors, prize providers, advertising agencies, other radio stations serving the Station’s DMA, and the immediate family members and household members of all such employees are not eligible to participate. The term “immediate family members” includes spouses, parents and step-parents, siblings and step-siblings, and children and stepchildren.  The term “household members” refers to people who share the same residence at least three (3) months out of the year. The Contest is subject to all applicable federal, state and local laws and regulations. Participation constitutes entrant’s full and unconditional agreement to these Official Rules and Station’s decisions, which are final and binding in all matters related to the Contest. Winning a prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein.
  3. Contest Period. The Contest will begin at 6:05 pm CT on Tuesday, December 3, 2019 and will run until 11:59 am CT on Wednesday, February 12, 2020 (the “Contest Period”).  The Station’s computer is the official time keeping device for this Contest.
  4. How to Enter. To enter:
  • Text: Send a text message with the keyword DEAD to 312-101 during the Contest Period.  All entries must be received by 11:59 am CT on Wednesday, February 12, 2020 to be eligible for the Grand Prize drawing.  Standard text messaging rates, as established by an individual’s wireless carrier, may apply, and Station assumes no responsibility for any fees or charges incurred for and associated with any text message sent to or from Station.  Any and all fees arising out of the transmission of a text message shall be the sole responsibility of the entrant.  Limit one (1) entry per person per phone number. Multiple participants are not permitted to share the same telephone number. Any attempt by any participant to submit more than one (1) entry by using multiple/different telephone phone numbers, identities, or any other methods will void that participant from further participation in the Sweepstakes.
  • Online: Send an e-mail with the title Soul Asylum Text Contest during the Contest Period, to [email protected] containing your Legal Name, Phone Number, Date of Birth, and Address in the body of the e-mail.  All entries must be received by 11:59 am CT on Wednesday, February 12, 2020 to be eligible for the Grand Prize drawing. Limit one (1) entry per person per email address.  Multiple participants are not permitted to share the same email address. Any attempt by any participant to submit more than one (1) entry per day by using multiple/different email addresses, identities, registrations and logins, or any other methods will void that entry and the participant may be disqualified.  Use of any automated system to participate is prohibited and will result in disqualification. Station is not responsible for lost, late, incomplete, invalid, unintelligible, inappropriate or misdirected registrations, all of which will be disqualified.  In the event of a dispute as to any registration, the authorized account holder of the email address used to register will be deemed to be the participant. The “authorized account holder” is the natural person assigned the telephone number by the wireless carrier or an email address by an Internet access provider, online service provider or other organization responsible for assigning email addresses for the domain associated with the submitted address.  Potential winner may be required to show proof of being the authorized account holder. All entries become the sole and exclusive property of Station and will not be returned.  Station reserves the right to contact entrants and all other individuals whose email address is submitted as part of this promotion.  No mail-in entries will be accepted.
  1. Winner Selection. At approximately 1:00 pm CT on Wednesday, February 12, 2020, Station will select one (1) entry for the Grand Prize in a random drawing from among all valid entries received by Station during the Contest Period. The winning entrant will be contacted using the email address and/or telephone number provided with the entry and may be awarded the prize (subject to verification of eligibility and compliance with the terms of these rules).  Station’s decisions as to the administration and operation of the Contest and the selection of the potential winner are final and binding in all matters related to the Contest. Failure to respond to the initial verification contact within three (3) days of notification will result in disqualification.
  2. Verification of Potential Winner. THE ELIGIBILITY OF ALL POTENTIAL CONTEST WINNERS IS SUBJECT TO VERIFICATION BY STATION WHOSE DECISIONS ARE FINAL AND BINDING IN ALL MATTERS RELATED TO THE CONTEST. The potential winner must continue to comply with all terms and conditions of these Official Rules, and winning is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements. The potential winner may be notified by email and/or telephone call after the date of random drawing and/or winner determination. The potential winner will be required to sign and return to Station, within three (3) days of the date notice is sent, an affidavit of eligibility and a liability/publicity release (except where prohibited) in order to claim his/her prize, if applicable.  A winner who returns the affidavit of eligibility and liability/publicity release will be deemed to have accepted the contest prize and thereafter will not be permitted to rescind their acceptance of the prize and/or return the prize. If a potential winner cannot be contacted, fails to sign and return the affidavit of eligibility and/or the liability/publicity release within the required time period (if applicable), or if the prize or prize notification is returned as undeliverable, potential winner forfeits prize. In the event that the potential winner of a prize is disqualified for any reason, Station may award the applicable prize to an alternate winner by random drawing from among all remaining eligible entries.    
  3. Grand Prize. One (1) Grand Prize will be awarded in this Contest.  The Grand Prize is two (2) tickets to see Soul Asylum at Metro Chicago on Friday, February 14, 2020. ARV: Sixty Dollars ($60). Winner is responsible for all taxes associated with prize receipt and/or use.  Odds of winning the Grand Prize depend on a number of factors including the number of eligible entries received during the Contest Period and listeners participating at any given time.

There is no substitution, transfer, or cash equivalent for prizes, except that the Station may, at its sole discretion and to the extent permitted by law, substitute prizes of comparable value or cash.  The prizes are expressly limited to the item(s) listed above and do not include taxes, gratuities or any other expenses.  Any tickets and/or gift certificates/cards awarded as part of a prize will be subject to the terms and conditions set forth by the issuer and are valid only on the date(s) printed on the tickets or gift certificates/cards.  Other restrictions may apply.

 

  1. Entry Conditions and Release. By entering, each participant agrees to: (a) comply with and be bound by these Official Rules and the decisions of the Station, which are binding and final in all matters relating to this Contest; (b) release and hold harmless Station, Cumulus Media Inc., and its subsidiaries, related and affiliated companies, participating sponsors, the prize suppliers and any other organizations responsible for sponsoring, fulfilling, administering, advertising or promoting the Contest, and each of their respective past and present officers, directors, employees, agents and representatives (collectively, the “Released Parties”) from and against any and all claims, expenses, and liability, including but not limited to negligence and damages of any kind to persons and property, including but not limited to invasion of privacy (under appropriation, intrusion, public disclosure of private facts, false light in the public eye or other legal theory), defamation, slander, libel, violation of right of publicity, infringement of trademark, copyright or other intellectual property rights, property damage, or death or personal injury arising out of or relating to a participant’s entry, creation of an entry or submission of an entry, participation in the Contest, acceptance or use or misuse of prize (including any travel or activity related thereto) and/or the broadcast, exploitation or use of entry; and (c) indemnify, defend and hold harmless the Released Parties from and against any and all claims, expenses, and liabilities (including reasonable attorneys’ fees) arising out of or relating to an entrant’s participation in the Contest and/or entrant’s acceptance, use, non-use or misuse of the prize.
  2. Except where prohibited by law, participation in the Contest constitutes winner’s consent to use by the Station and its agent of winner’s name, likeness, photograph, voice, opinions and/or biographical information (including hometown and state) for promotional purposes in any media, worldwide, without further payment or consideration.
  3. All state, local, federal and/or other taxes, duties, tariffs, title fees, licensing fees, or other fees for prizes awarded become the sole responsibility of the winner.  All those who win a prize or prizes valued $600 or more in any given year will be issued an IRS Form 1099 to report their winnings.
  4. General Conditions. Station reserves the right to cancel, suspend and/or modify the Contest, or any part of it, if any fraud, technical failures or any other factor beyond Station’s reasonable control impairs the integrity or proper functioning of the Contest, as determined by Station in its sole discretion. Station reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Contest or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or acting in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to deliberately undermine the legitimate operation of the Contest may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, Station reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. Station’s failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision.
  5. Limitations of Liability. The Released Parties are not responsible for: (1) any incorrect or inaccurate information, whether caused by Station, entrants, printing errors or by any of the equipment or programming associated with or utilized in the Contest; (2) technical failures of any kind, including but not limited to malfunctions, interruptions, or disconnections in phone lines or network hardware or software; (3) unauthorized human intervention in any part of the entry process or the Contest; (4) technical or human error which may occur in the administration of the Contest or the processing of entries; or (5) any injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant’s participation in the Contest or receipt or use, non-use or misuse of any prize. No more than the stated number of prizes will be awarded. In event that a production, technical, programming or other error causes more than stated number of prizes as set forth in these Official Rules to be claimed, Station reserves the right to award only the stated number of prizes by a random drawing among all legitimate, unawarded, eligible prize claims.
  6. Entrant agrees that: (i) any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of or connected with this Contest, or any prizes awarded, shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action; (ii) any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of or connected with this Contest, or any prizes awarded, shall be resolved exclusively by the United States District Court or the appropriate state court located in the Station’s listening area; (iii) any and all claims, judgments and awards shall be limited to actual out-of-pocket costs incurred, including costs associated with entering this Contest, but in no event attorneys’ fees; and (iv) under no circumstances will entrant be permitted to obtain awards for, and entrant hereby waives all rights to claim punitive, incidental and consequential damages and any other damages, other than for actual out-of-pocket expenses, and any and all rights to have damages multiplied or otherwise increased. SOME JURISDICTIONS DO NOT ALLOW THE LIMITATIONS OR EXCLUSION OF LIABILITY FOR INCIDENTAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES, SO THE ABOVE MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, or the rights and obligations of entrant and Station in connection with the Contest, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the state in which the Station is located, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules (whether of the state in which the Station is located or any other jurisdiction), which would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the state in which the Station is located.
  7. Entrant’s Personal Information. Information collected from entrants is subject to Station’s Privacy Policy, which is available on the Station’s website under the “Privacy Policy” link. All entry blanks, forms, devices, and materials gathered during the course of entry, as well as all information contained therein, shall become the sole property of Station to be used, disposed of or destroyed in its sole discretion.  Station is not responsible for any incorrect or inaccurate information entered by website users, and assumes no responsibility for any error, omission, interruption, deletion, defect, delay in operation or transmission, communications line failure, theft or destruction or unauthorized access to Station’s website.
  8. Contest Results. A winners list may be obtained within thirty (30) days after the Contest Period expires by sending a self-addressed stamped envelope to the Station identified below.

 

 

CONTEST SPONSOR: Cumulus Media Holdings Inc., WKQX-FM, 455 N. CityFront Plaza, Chicago, IL 60611.

Metro Chicago, 3730 N Clark Street, Chicago, IL 60613

 

 

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Indiana man with ‘Crime Pays’ tattooed on his head runs from police

 

Indiana, do you know this guy? Donald Murray was featured on Live PD for being a pretty obviously dumb criminal, who has the phrase “CRIME PAYS” tattooed on his forehead. Yeah, so um, not a good idea. He is wanted for fleeing from police when he was running from a crash after a high-speed chase when officers were trying to pull him over as he drove his vehicle with its lights off.

You can help bring this tattooed dork into custody, call the following police number 812-232-1311.

WANTED – Donald Murray

UPDATE: Live PD Nation if you have any tips on Donald Murray’s whereabouts, please call 812-232-1311

Posted by Live PD on A&E on Saturday, November 30, 2019

The secret to living long is beer!

We are all fighting time, but World War II veteran Andrew E. Slavonic may have the answers.

Slavonic turned 102 on December 1 and he says the secret to his life longevity is his daily Coors Light!

At 4 pm on the dot every day he pops open a nice cold Coors Light, which everyone knows is made with the water from the fountain of youth.

Coors Light even flew him out to visit their brewery in Colorado to show him exactly what the secret ingredient is that’s kept him alive all these years.

Live long, and drink beer!

FINALLY: Smash Mouth ‘All Star’ performed using melons

We didn’t anticipate sharing something like this when the workday started today, and yet… here we are.

It’s “All Star,” performed on melons that have been hollowed out and turned into ocarinas. It’s like watching a Legend of Zelda score come to life!

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Walmart selling ‘Rosé Drink Enhancer’ to flavor your water like wine

If you’ve ever been in a situation where you’ve thought to yourself, “I could really use a drink,” but downing an adult beverage at that moment wouldn’t be advisable, Walmart has just the thing for you. According to the Instagram account, @candyhunting, Walmart is selling Rosé Wine Drink Enhancers that let you rosé all day with none of the alcohol.

Just add a few drops to water and you’ll instantly have the flavor of wine. Boom. Delish points out that you may have to go to the store to find these, as they’re not listed on the website. CandyHunting says the additive was located in the juice aisle, under the Walmart’s Great Value brand.

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Proof that dogs are the best

Senior Day for college football players is one of the most memorable moments of their lives.

Usually, players run out of the tunnel to thousands of fans cheering for you and then are embraced by your parents to commemorate all of the hard work that the player had put in.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the experience that fifth-year senior Josh Butler of the Michigan State Spartans got to experience. He lost both his parents during his college tenure.

But where there is a hole in a person, there is always a dog to fill it! That is why Butler adopted his two pups Roxi and Remi. They led Josh out onto the field for his final game as a college player.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Senior Night 💚🥺

A post shared by Roxy & Remi (@roxy_remi_thedogstv) on

I’m not crying! You’re crying… shut up!!

Dogs are so good, that’s all we have to say.

Get ’em Now! TNWSC 2 for 1 Tickets for 311,Highly Suspect, & Glorious Sons

You have just a few hours left before the end of our special Cyber Monday sale for the Nights We Stole Christmas Night 5 featuring 311, Highly Suspect, and the Glorious Sons at the Byline Bank Aragon Ballroom. The tickets are only 2 for 1 with this special sale that ends tonight (Dec 2nd) at midnight. Get your tickets here. 

311 told us staying awesome in this very LOUD session recorded in the Lounge in 2017.

The Glorious Sons gave us a deep look into their music in this intimate session from the Lounge earlier this year.

Lauren chatted with Highly Suspect at Lollapalooza in 2017.

Celebrate 12 days of Pearl Jam with holiday tunes

Pearl Jam just announced international festival shows for 2020, well they got more good news in time for the Christmas season. The band will start “12 Days of Pearl Jam” series according their official fan club Ten Club, with one of its holiday songs released each day for the next 12 days. The tracks will be featured on a seasonal playlist available on Spotify.

The Seattle band has released holiday singles dating all the way back to 1991, so they have a lot to work with here.

They started with this funky cover of Steve Wonder’s ‘Someday at Christmas’.

Bishop Briggs covers twenty one pilots, Panic! and MCR

Bishop Briggs performed Jekyll And Hide (below) on Kimmel last week and as a treat threw in a few extra songs including a cover medley of twenty one pilots, Panic! At The Disco and My Chemical Romance

(medley starts at 4:30 in this video shared by Lilpicki)

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Elton John might’ve peed in front of you

If you had the pleasure of attending one of Elton John’s Las Vegas shows in the fall of 2017, there’s a chance that you saw Elton John pee right in front of you, whether you realize it or not.

John was recovering from a prostate cancer surgery that affected his bladder control, so the legendary frontman wore a diaper on stage. The operation nearly killed John, so wearing a diaper in front of thousands of screaming and adoring fans is a small price to pay.

Now that we think about it, wearing a diaper in front of thousands of fans doesn’t sound that bad…we’ll just leave that there.

Robots are going to kill us all

Police are now using robot police dogs (a possible great band name, albeit a terrifyingly real invention) in the state of Massachusetts. For three months, the MA State Police have been secretly testing out the power of the robot dogs and now even the ACLU is starting to get suspicious.

“We just really don’t know enough about how the state police are using this,” noted Kade Crockford, director of the technology for liberty program at the ACLU of Massachusetts.

Just like anything else, it’s not a matter of whether the state police use this, it’s a matter of if they abuse it. We don’t want to speak for everyone, but I think it’s safe to assume that no one wants to be abused by a robot police dog. That is a tough sell for anyone.

Oh well, eventually robots will be able to write all of these blog posts, then they’ll be able to host the KQX Morning Show, then they’ll all overthrow us humans and we’ll be left living in the Wall-E-verse. *heavy sigh*