The once-leader in adult-oriented smut has made a pivot and is embracing the digital age. Playboy has relaunched in digital form and is looking for aspiring Bunnies to join their platform in an effort to fight back against the dominance of OnlyFans. The company’s Chief Branding Officer noted, “We’re laser-focused on building the safest and most lucrative and engaging creator platform in the world.”

Don’t forget to come up for air, pal.

One major difference between OnlyFans and Playboy’s new approach towards the digital landscape is that while anyone can sign up to become an OnlyFans creator, Playboy creators have to apply and be accepted by the the publication’s editorial team.

The platform will allow nudity, which its creators view as a form of art and free expression, but explicit content and pornography will not be allowed. 

Zuckerberg is at it again. In a message to his employees earlier this week, the tech wunderkind noted that the company would be laying off 10,000 employees and not filling the vacancy of 5,000 open positions. In a posted, he noted, “Over the next couple of months, org leaders will announce restructuring plans focused on flattening our orgs, canceling lower priority projects, and reducing our hiring rates.”

Unrelated, here’s a graph of the most profitable companies in the world, per day. You’ll notice Facebook is on this list. They make approximately $701 per second, and $60,580,822 per day.

Our thoughts go out to those who have lost their jobs by way of conglomerate budget cuts.

A cemetery in Marshalltown, Iowa has taken out an ad after their goose, Blossom, was “out of sorts” following the death of her mate, Bud. The two geese met in the same pond at the cemetery, but after Bud left us in 2022, the general manager noticed Blossom acting differently.

The general manager took to her social media to look for a mate for Blossom, saying “lonely, widowed domestic goose…life partner for companionship and occasional shenanigans.” 

Little did she know, people nearby, Deb and Randy Hoyt (perfect names for empathetic goose owners) owned a widower goose named Frankie. Blossom and Frankie met, became attached at the hip, and have been like that ever since.

Q101 believes in putting Chicago’s best foot forward, but as a city, we’re going to have to take an “L” on this one.

A Chicago man has filed a federal lawsuit claiming that the practice is fraud and companies like Buffalo Wild Wings are duping customers by selling chicken wings that aren’t in fact wings. We’re not sure if he wanted feathers to come with his order or not. What we do know is that he went onto say, “Unbeknownst to plaintiff and other consumers, the products are not wings at all, but instead, slices of chicken breast meat deep-fried like wings,” the lawsuit reads. “Indeed, the products are more akin, in composition, to a chicken nugget rather than a chicken wing.”

Buffalo Wild Wings has not released an official statement, but the company did clap back at the lawsuit on Twitter.

Unfortunately, this does add fuel to the fire for the people who say that boneless wings are “just chicken nuggets”.

Wordtips has done the Lord’s work in an effort to help us avoid the most negative people on the planet. A new visualization shows which fanbases are prone to negativity and which ones are not.

Even after her electric Super Bowl performance, Rhianna fans still rank atop the list with perpetually-beaten down Call of Duty fans directly behind them.

Which fanbase is the most negative? The conversation lives on Facebook!

Think about your worst childhood memory: it probably involves a clown. Luckily, the world’s greatest minds have come together to figure out why exactly we fear the makeup-ridden beasts the way that we do. 987 people were polled for a “Fear of Clowns Questionnaire” and after all of the answers were tabulated, this is what science came up with.

1. An eerie or unsettling feeling due to clowns’ makeup making them look not-quite-human. A similar response is sometimes seen with dolls or mannequins.
2. Clowns’ exaggerated facial features convey a direct sense of threat.
3. Clown makeup hides emotional signals and creates uncertainty.
4. The color of clown makeup reminds us of death, infection or blood injury, and evokes disgust or avoidance.
5. Clowns’ unpredictable behavior makes us uncomfortable.
6. Fear of clowns has been learned from family members.
7. Negative portrayals of clowns in popular culture.
8. A frightening experience with a clown.

Thank you to our friends at Science Alert for providing this incredibly insightful data.

Oh good, something no one asked for!

The perverted minds at Hidden Valley and Van Leeuwen have put their heads together to create a truly disturbing combination of flavors. It will be sold at select Walmart stores across the country from March 20 to May 28. The propaganda machine touts the limited edition ice cream as “savory flavors of ranch, including buttermilk, flavorful herbs and a touch of sweetness.” 

This comes two years after Van Leeuwen teamed up with Kraft Mac & Cheese for a limited edition ice cream. Hopefully two years from now, they’re all locked away in jail for crimes against humanity.