Good news! You don’t have to listen to that dang Mariah Carey tune anymore because the homies Twenty One Pilots just dropped a new Christmas tune. Between this, and The Virtual Night We Stole Christmas (get your tickets now!), maybe the Holidays won’t be so bad after all!
Here we finally have a straight from the source answer on what women are looking for in a man.
If you’ve ever struggled with landing a lady, maybe you can learn a thing or two from this video!
I hope this helped!
Romanian gangsters are apparently fearless!
They pull off a real life Fast and the Furious type of heist for some PS5s and it is crazy!
The bad news is that some Romanian kids are going to be super disappointed to hear that gangsters stole their Christmas present.
But at least the video looks cool!
This guy absolutely smashes the National Anthem at some random high school basketball game then pretends like it was no big deal.
C’mon my guy! Take a bow!
A local Peoria artist, Joshua Hawkins, was paid to paint a mural on the wall of a building by the owner of the property.
Joshua held up his end of the bargain, painted a really cool mural, and got paid. But then something really strange happened.
Turns out the person who commissioned Joshua wasn’t actually the owner of that building!
The mural is covered up now, and Joshua was paid for his work, but that doesn’t answer a few important questions.
Why did a random person pay to have a mural put up on a random wall? And where did they go!
It’s no secret that I am a Malört fan. In fact, here’s my Christmas tree…
I'm dreaming of a Malört Christmas @JeppsonsMalort @JeppsonCarl @cillic @TheOnlyMike_E @d0rkph0enix @Kavanaghgirl3 pic.twitter.com/4pFzmLoBji
— Lauren O'Neil (@laurenoneil) December 8, 2020
Beth just turned me on to the unemployedwineguy aka Prescott Vanmeyer III who does a scathing and hilarious review of the golden swill on tiktok:
Check out Unemployed Wine Guy's video! #TikTok @laurenoneil 😂😂 https://t.co/be8PCRPKWy
— JustBeth (@Kavanaghgirl3) December 8, 2020
But you need to see the full, unedited, nasal-spit-filled version:
So funny I almost forgive him for saying CH-itown and also NOT SWALLOWING. Cheers, Prescott! Next round’s on me. <3 Lauren
It’s not a great day.
Tuesday is nobody’s favorite day of the week. It’s like Monday, but just far enough in the week to where you have to be on your game.
Terrible!
So here is a compiled list of TikToks that’ll help you get through this terrible day of the week:
For this first one I want to take you guys on a journey…Close your eyes and Imagine your the beat meal your grandma ever made. Imagine the smell of that meal…take a deep breathe in and now imagine your grandma sending you a nude. This is a voicemail from a grandma who sent her grand daughter a nude.
@mimibae89Grandma tripping I can’t even function at work #fyp #foryoupage #fypシ #4u♬ yort_. – @yort_.
Using my TikTok insiders I tracked down the man the grandma meant to send those nudes to.
@worldstarGrandpa got caught! 😯😩😂 (via @poodabarzey ) #gotcaught #grandpa #failarmy♬ original sound – WorldStar Hip Hop
Woman admits to cheating on her boyfriend with Tyler Johnson of the Tampa bay lightning.
@rjsahernaqviWhich #athlete she is talking about? #hints #tj #hockey #florida 😂😂😂 #boyfriend #girlfriend♬ original sound – rjsahernaqvi
Kids are so cute!
But you can’t trust those snitches!
@alexis.scott26Ain’t no smiling allowed. ##momsoftiktok ##BeKind ##OnHold ##youngmomsquad ##momcontent ##hotmessexpressmomma
Guess that kid can kiss goodbye to doing anything fun with dad ever again.
This is crazy, it doesn’t seem real.
But Floyd Mayweather and Logan Paul both announced that they are set to fight in February 2021.
That’s the, arguably, best boxer of all time against a YouTuber… Who lost his first pro fight to another YouTuber…
View this post on Instagram
How is this even legal!?!?!
That being said, this is going to make them both SO MUCH MONEY!
Say what you want about the Paul Brothers, but they know how to put on a show and get paid at the same time.
These kids, ages 7 and 12, will have a story to tell for the rest of their lives.
They stole a Range Rover in New York City and drove it all the way to around Delaware before getting caught by the police!
What a joy ride!
C’mon, they were just having some fun!
Unless you’re the owner of that Range Rover… That would not be fun in the least bit.
KFC might have the most interesting marketing campaign strategies.
Remember they made those chicken flavored Crocs!
Well, now they’re releasing a mini-movie on Lifetime!
It’s called A Recipe for Seduction
I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited for something in my life.
The Chicago Bears look like hot garbage after their… well, hot start at the beginning of the season.
A lot of people are putting the blame on head coach Matt Nagy’s offensive schemes and calls on the field.
The Bears have never fired a coach in the middle of the season, but is it time to break that tradition?
Some former Bears think so.
I saw some firings and firings in my time in Chicago none of which happened mid season. I wonder what the tipping point is and who ultimately makes the decision.
— Kyle (@Ky1eLong) December 6, 2020
Oh and the GM…. football starts in the trenches bruh. Everybody knows that!
— Matt Forte (@MattForte22) December 6, 2020
What do you think?
Should the Bears stick it out with Nagy for the rest of the year to see what happens? Or is all hope lost at this point?
Remember when he won coach of the year? That was only two years ago!
We all know what a dumpster fire 2020 has been. But a British artist named Chris Barker was able to sum it up in a single picture.
Every year, Chris produces a mock-up of the Beatles’ “Sgt Pepper” album cover, but with public figures who’ve died over the past 12 months. And the 2020 version contains 108 of them, including a lot of heavy hitters.
Like Kobe Bryant, Eddie Van Halen, Little Richard, Neil Peart from Rush, Sean Connery, David “Darth Vader” Prowse, Kirk Douglas, Max Von Sydow, Ian Holm, Alex Trebek, and Chadwick Boseman, to name a few.
Oh, and everyone is wearing masks.
Also, the bass drum in the foreground of the picture has the phrase, “I can’t breathe” scrawled across it, with a portrait of George Floyd sitting next to it. On the other side of the drum is a stockpile of toilet paper.
On the ground in front of it, there are markings to denote all the people who’ve died of COVID-19.
And everyone is standing in front of the Four Seasons Total Landscaping garage door where Rudy Giuliani held his crazy election fraud press conference.
Chris says he originally wanted to work social distancing into the photo, but that wasn’t really practical.
(Chris has been doing this since 2016. Here are the previous four editions.)
#sgtpepper2020 pic.twitter.com/tNwOTmV6CW
— christhebarker (@christhebarker) December 2, 2020
First it was toilet paper, then it was hand sanitizer and bleach . . . and now there’s a massive run on FLOWBEES, the self-haircutting system that looks like a vacuum cleaner.
But it isn’t just because of the pandemic . . . it’s because GEORGE CLOONEY recently revealed that he’s been using a Flowbee to cut his own hair for more than years.
The Vice President of Flowbee says sales have gone up TENFOLD over the past week . . . and they’ve completely sold out. (Who would’ve predicted that 2020 would be the year that Flowbees were harder to get than Coachella tickets.)
The company says that due to the surprise, quote, “Clooney effect,” it’ll be at least two to four weeks before they can get supply back up to meet demand.
The company hasn’t worked with Clooney before . . . and they didn’t even know he was a customer. But obviously, they’re thrilled, and they’re planning on sending him a thank you package.
(If you missed it, Clooney showed off his expertise on “Kimmel” last week. Here’s the video. Skip to 5:25.)
Unfortunately the weekend is officially over.
But that’s ok! Because that means we get to share what we heard on the Chicagoland Police Scanner this weekend!
And there was a lot that went down!
Here is what we heard:
SATURDAY 12:34 PM – 1000 block/ South 4th street in Maywood – Man in red car offered a woman $10 for her socks. Once she gave him her socks he then drove off without paying her. She wants her $10 or her socks back.
SATURDAY 2:41 PM – White male walking inbound on the Eisenhower with a Christmas tree. He appears to be hitch hiking.
Part 1 – Call 1 – SATURDAY 8:48 PM – 1710 W Jefferson Street in Joliet – Customer is damaging the store because they are out of Tuna fish. She urinated on the floor and is throwing ice at the employees.
Part 2 – Call 2 – 9:01 PM – The customer is locked in the freezer. The caller is saying she went into the freezer to look for more tuna fish and the employees locked her in. They are going to keep her in there until officers arrive for their safety.
Part 3 – Officer response – 9:19 PM – One white female in custody. She was found eating cookie dough in the freezer of the restaurant. She has been charged with felony assault and destruction of property. The store has banned her for life at all their locations.
SUNDAY 5:12 AM – 2019 N Main Street in Wheaton – Man is locked in a porta-potty. He says his friends took all his clothes and locked him in there last night. He thought they would eventually let him out but they never came back. He is reportedly still naked.
If you’re going to shoot your shot, make sure you aren’t a government official being interviewed on live television.
This representative from Georgia clearly did not get the memo…
Hey, he played it off like a pro when he realized he was on camera!
Guess why he’s a politician!
This guy met his biological father for the first time ever the best way possible.
By dressing up as Will Ferrell’s character ‘ Buddy the Elf’ from the movie Elf.
He even broke into the same song that Buddy did in the movie!
This is amazing!
This might be the best sketch that SNL has put on this season.
Remember that crazy song that Eminem put out, Stan?
Well the SNL cast put their own version together titled Stu and it’s amazing!
Plus Eminem makes a little cameo in it!
It’s kind of scary how good Pete Davidson is at playing a crazy Santa obsessed person…
A man in Buffalo Grove put together an amazing lights display at his home in Buffalo Grove for all to enjoy.
It’s awesome! There’s lights, music, cool timed displays, everything you’d want out of Christmas decorations.
The display is so good that it is attracting people far and wide to come to Buffalo Grove to check out this homeowners decorations.
The village isn’t too keen on that…
C’mon! It’s the holidays! Let us have a tiny bit of fun this year.
I hope the village takes a chill pill and realizes that this is only going to be up for this month. It’s not the end of the world!
Christmas tree decorating is one of the most fun chores of the holiday.
The whole family gets to chip in and help. It’s a really fun time.
But that doesn’t mean that caution shouldn’t be used.
You could end up like this guy then!
@fjerryPerfect… #fyp #4u #EasyDIY #funny
Christmas must be canceled in that household…
