The Windy City is loaded this weekend with events happening all around town. In the digital stratosphere, tickets for Kanye West’s “Donda” listening party at Soldier Field go on today at noon. The event takes place on the 26th.

The Blue Angels fly into the city this weekend, first with a practice run on Friday from 10a-2p. The big shows take place the following days with liftoff taking place from 12p-1p on Saturday and Sunday.

All Elite Wrestling brings the first major pro wrestling event to the United Center in 22 years with an ‘AEW Rampage’ television taping on August 20. This will be the largest crowd in the two-and-a-half-year history of AEW and the show will be highlighted by the all-but-confirmed AEW debut of CM Punk. Tickets are still available.

There’s also a Sangria Festival, the largest Latin music festival in the country, and the Blue Man Group returns to Chicago!

Ronnak Niazi (unfortunate name) was charged with robbing Southfork in Orland Park earlier this week, a bizarre decision given that he worked right next door to the establishment. After reviewing video evidence, it was determined that a suspect forced open the rear doors of the business at 9 p.m. the night before and removed two cash registers that allegedly contained $2,500, according to Fox 32.

Ronnak Niazi was working at Burger King at the time of the burglary, which is located next to the restaurant he allegedly robbed, police said. https://t.co/8u3hCMqXGy

— FOX 32 News (@fox32news) August 19, 2021

You couldn’t have walked across the street to a place that has never seen you before?

In an all-time bad decision, OnlyFans is moving to a porn-free platform starting later this year. On October 1, “sexually explicit content” will be barred from the platform as they look to expand the company and bring in new investors. Of course, ditching the thing that you’re best known for is probably not the best move.

Nudity will still be permitted on the site as long as it fits the site’s new community guidelines. Good luck navigating that trap, ladies.

We know you. You’re sitting here thinking “I know animals” and so you think you can easily identify this animal. Well, good luck, folks, because we got nothing.

To quote Dr. Evil, “how about no.” Andy Dalton was talking to the press after training camp and he said, “Justin’s going to have his time, but right now is my time.” We have the utmost respect for Dalton, but step aside and let the Bears win some games for a change. We don’t want to be a part of the Andy Dalton Experience.

 

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Temper your expectations, Chicago, this is going to be a long season.

You ever beat the tar out of someone and then shake their hand? That’s what these two fellas did and we’re honestly blown away by it.

Just some friendly road rage finished with respect. Nothing to see here. pic.twitter.com/V20sLTtlQi

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) August 14, 2021

We’re not encouraging anyone to get into a fight just to then shake their opponents hand, but if you already have video of it…please send it to us.

According to this woman, Olive Garden, Chili’s, and the glorious destination that is Applebee’s are off limits when it comes to a first date. This lady won’t even entertain the idea.

Are you okay with chain restaurants on a first date? The conversation lives on Facebook!