Happy St. Paddy’s Day, you guys! As you know St. Paddy’s here in Chicago hits different. The river is green, the smell of corned beef wafting from every neighborhood in Greater Chicagoland, and of course, packed bars starting at 7am. The best. At some point today you will be asked to say a toast, here are some of my favorites. Slainte!

When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!

Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
a quick death and an easy one
a pretty girl and an honest one
a cold beer – and another one!

May your soul find heaven 10 minutes before the devil knows you’re dead.

May the winds of fortune sail you.
May you sail a gentle sea.
May it always be the other guy
who says, “The drinks are on me!”

In all this world, why I do think
There are five reasons why we drink:
Good friends,
good beer,
lest we be dry
and any other reason why.

It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow
than to spend tonight like there’s no money!

If you’re lucky enough to be Irish…you’re lucky enough!