Watch Football Coach deliver wedding advice: “The women lose their mind”

Photo: WeTV

Washington State football coach Mike Leach has become a viral sensation recently ranting on the record with hilarious results about a lot of non-football related topics. A reporter this week asked the wise and grizzled Leach for advice on his upcoming wedding and how to handle it. Leach delivered probably the most epic and bitterly funny diatribe against the feminine mania over weddings. Now, before you run and call me sexist, I am just quoting this guy who seems delivers his opinion with a very thorough and circumstantial outlook  on the wedding process. And yes, it will make your fiancee angry or at least I think so or maybe it doesn’t, or whatever she wants just go with that. 

Here is the full transcript below.

“The women lose their mind. Your fiancee’s gonna lose her mind, your mother-in-law is gonna lose her mind, your mom is gonna lose her mind, several of your sisters, and female relatives are gonna lose their mind. And, they’re gonna barrage you with constant questions — ‘what should we wear?’ and of course my answer was ‘I don’t care.’ And then ‘what color should the invitations be?’ ‘I don’t care.’ ‘What should we have for dessert?’ ‘I don’t care.’ ‘Should we sit this way, or that way?’ ‘I don’t care.’”

“But see, I don’t care’s not satisfactory at all, and you’re going to get caught in a catch-22 — and I’m certain that you already have — and that catch-22 is, ‘Well I want you to be a part of this too, so what color invitations?’ ‘Alright, the blue ones.’ ‘Well I kind of like the tan ones’ — ‘OK the tan ones then.’ ‘Oh you’re jut saying that because you want this over, you’re not even thinking about it’ — which is, of course, true. ‘What do you want for dessert?’ ‘I was thinking strawberry shortcake.’ ‘Oh, OK, strawberry shortcake would be good. Well, what about the blueberry pie?’ ‘Well I like the blueberry pie, we could have the blueberry pie’ — ‘Well I thought you wanted to have the strawberry shortcake?!’”

“And it’s just gonna go back and forth, and they’re just going to play keep away from you until after you’re married. There’s no answer that you give that’s going to be satisfactory or correct. And if you successfully please a few of them, a few others will be ‘Oh, well I just don’t feel like he’s that interested.’ So you need to work late, go in the back room and read a lot of books, take the groomsmen out so you make sure that they march in just right, and they know exactly, you know these swell outfits that you picked out, or however you’re doing it. And in the end, you’ll wish you eloped. You need to find excuses that they’ll buy to be as far out of harm’s way as you possibly can.”

I do not agree with Leach here, but there has been a very successful female-focused reality show on WeTV that ran for 10 seasons called ‘Bridzillas’ which documented the painful freak-outs over dresses and inter-family ceremonial messes. He’s referencing a generalized and much exploited sense of the self-imposed madness that couples put themselves through to prepare for the big day. 

ESPN collected more outrageous quotes from Coach Leach including his thoughts on aliens, joining a band, and throwing sharks into people’s beds. Yes, he talks about all of these topics at the podium during press conferences.