Star Wars Ewoks got their own TV movies, they suck

So you are a human who is looking forward to ‘Star Wars: the Last Jedi’ coming to theaters this week, we continue our march to it with the more demented pieces of the galaxy far, far away.

Taking place between ‘Empire Strikes Back’ and ‘Return of the Jedi’ in the story order, falls this 1984 made-for-TV movie ‘Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure’ that features Ewoks, the furry forest rebels that did not win everyone’s hearts in ‘Jedi’. It’s narrated by Burl Ives (the due who sang the holiday novelty hit ‘Holly Jolly Christmas’) which is smart since SW fans had already endured Wookies making noises instead of dialogue in the awful ‘Holiday Special’, but don’t think that saves it.

This movie is a bore according to Youtube movie critic Chris Stuckman. We may get Ewoks, some familiar costumes, but there is no characters from the films. We get some nifty 80’s era effects but the story is paced weirdly due to editing for TV commercial breaks. It just does  not click even with a fresh idea with new characters playing with the cartoony Ewoks.  There are some gnarly action scenes like Ewoks fighting a giant spider and gets crushed by falling rocks,  but that is about it.

It’s not the worst of Star Wars, no that dubious designation is still attached to the Holiday Special.

They got a sequel for some reason out of this called Ewoks;Battle for Endor in 1985. This one for some reason features the mean principal from ‘the Breakfast Club’ as a dad of the ewok kid buddies, takes a darker tone, but it can’t beat the made-for-TV-ness of it all.  OH, WAIT WILFRED BRIMLEY FROM THE DIABETES COMMERCIALS?!