How To Behave At A Concert…A New Interpretation

WikiHow has provided a How To Behave At A Rock Concert guide.  I thought it might be helpful considering The Nights We Stole Christmas kicks off on Thursday.  Turns out…it was kind of bland.  So, without further ado, the original photo illustrations from the guide…provided with zero-context interpretations:


When you walk into a place that looks like your hometown movie theater from the 1980s, recognize you did not arrive at the proper location for the show.  It is at The Aragon.  Also, that sweater.  Yikes.


If someone offers you a fountain pen at The Nights We Stole Christmas, remember.  Just say no.  Friends don’t let friends accept fancy writing utensils from strangers.


(Wait.  I’m genuinely confused by this.  Sure, follow the rules.  But when placed on a stop sign, doesn’t it send mixed messages?  Read literally, it seems to mean…STOP following the rules.  I’ve decided this tip does not apply The Nights We Stole Christmas.)


Don’t be the silver haired fox who boxes people out from the merch tables.


It is advisable to wear deodorant to The Nights We Stole Christmas while waving your hands in the air as if there were no consequences.


If you mistakenly drive off with a gas nozzle after filling up on your way over, don’t bring it inside and wave it in the air like some kind of trophy.  And you on the left…this ain’t Pants Off, Dance Off.


Don’t use a mirror to create your own homemade band t-shirt.  Actually, you’ll probably sell a s#!@ ton of these on Etsy.  Go for it.